Sunday, July 22, 2007

how to make the red soil seed ready?

the injector tending the easy earth...

Once again, the egg and the sperm failed to meet. So, we are not knocked up. The lessons I'm learning in all of this are that I am a pretty damn impatient person and I really want this.

We debated and contemplated and went back and forth with the idea of trying to get pregnant for quite some time, and now that we are in it, I am convinced that it is the next journey we are meant to carve out.

Problem is I need to devote as much patience and steady pace of mind to the process of trying to make the darn sugar patch as I did to the process of finally deciding to set off on the mission.

I guess this mystery of egg falling from tubes and sperm swimming steadfast against all odds seeking to bump into egg is a bigger one than I ever even began to think about. I try to venture into that unknown void of kk's female organs and it becomes one vast red space with lots of fluid swishing about. So then I try to think about it in more familiar terms--a strip of soil about to get all planted up, but it is not that easy.

See when I put seeds in the ground or in some soil up in our planting room, they are mostly going to rise up with some tending. If we water and make sure the sun falls over them, germination is practically a given.

A Zinnia in our garden grown from seed...

Not true with the dark, warm sloshy place of kk's vagina, uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes. The mystery of planting the goods that have the potential to bring a wee human into our breathing space is a lot more complicated than the steps involved in bringing to fruition my lush, full garden. While teenagers everywhere--the ones who seem to achieve pregnancy just from sitting on a toilet seat after their boyfriends--might have a different story about the ease of the mystery of human creation becoming reality, the two queer girls involved in this particular tale are now starting to see the mystery of furrowing the female body for the reception of bleachy seed as harder work than tilling a thousand acres for the reception of veggie seeds. While pursuing conception might not be all that much physical work (that mostly involves driving to retrieve the seed and then relying on the work of the don don's hands--or don don's boyfriend's hands--to ejaculate the seed), it is a hell of a lot of emotional work.

Growing beans

Contemplating the mystery of our internal anatomy is exhausting. Not to mention the defeat associated with wading in the aftermath of a letdown--the failure of the seed to take root after I so carefully injected into that soft lush ground. Cause really that's all I can do; plunge the syringe deep inside and let loose. I have no power here. I will just have to let the mystery be and pretend I am a good gardener without any seeds of my own.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Chicago #1

From July 4th through July 6th, we tried with all of our might to make a wee little baby. We includes K, the don don, his boyfriend and me. I must say that with my hesitancy to spend a whole week in chicago--going to chi-town for days on end was not boding well with my earth sign leanings--(which did not happen; I came home for 1 and a half days and leave again tomorrow until Wednesday evening), everything was much more pleasing than my negative thinking would have painted. so, fuck you the Secret--with a lame ass copyright inserted, I thought bad thoughts and good things happened!!!

We had a splendid time trying to get little kk all knocked up.

Pookah, K,and the injector waiting for the don don to call so we could go back to the apartment and inject the fresh little worms.

Day 1--July 4,2007. We arrived in Chicago around 4:30 Central time. The don don and his boyfriend (i will call him don don's boy) graciously welcomed us to their new apartment; they had just put down roots, not even a full week ago, in Chicago. K was feeling like she was super fertile,so the don don and the don don's boy went to business as we exited the premises.

we took the pookster on a sweet walk through the edgewater neighborhood. we found the stomping ground to be quite darling. Folks were having block parties and bbq's all over the place. the sun shone through the hazy mix of grill smoke and smoke bombs like a fading memory you want to capture before it vaporizes.

After quite a few minutes, not leading into an hour but more like one half of an hour, pour some sugar on me came blasting out of k's phone. Yes, pour some sugar on me is the don don's ring tone.

And that is what he had all caught up in an artichoke jar for us--some sugar. We made our way back to the apartment anxious for the jiz. The don don and the don don's boy exited the premises as we arrived. We went into their bedroom and k took off her panties. I sucked up the 3 CCs of sperm and shot it into her. And guess what? It all stayed. Not a bit slithered out. Her uterus and canal and all those other womanly parts sucked his sperm up into her like she needed internal lotion to lubricate her dry, dry self.

We were thrilled. The boys were thrilled. K lounged around for a long time and then we went and had a delicious dinner at the Chicago Diner.

Day 2--July 5, 2007

K's LH Surge finally appears on the sweet little stick.

We woke up and K peed on her stick for the i have no clue how manyth time.
And then a gleeful scream of jubilation expelled itself from her mouth. The smiley face had appeared.

we went to breakfast and enjoyed tasty, tasty food.

And then we landed back at the apartment and shortly thereafter left for a walk as the don don and the don don's boy filled up the jar again. Pour some sugar on me came blaring on the phone and we headed back for the fresh, life giving fluid sloshing its bleachy stained self around in a jar that once contained very oily and delicious artichoke hearts.

This time the boys stuck around as we went into the second bedroom and injected the 2 CCs of fluid up into kk. A little came spewing out this second time around, but most of it stuck. We had grown much more comfortable by this time and by the third time, which i will not go into detail about on the blog, we were in the apartment as don don jacked and don don and don don's boy stayed close by as we injected (Don don even went into the bathroom to collect some toilet paper--due to his boy being in the shower--so i could wipe the jiz up off kk cause it almost all came spewing back out the third day).

All in all, it the chicago injecting experience was fantastic--good friends, good times, good food.

don don, the injector, and k hangin' our feet from the pier at the beach after day 2 injection!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy Fucking Fourth of July

the injector with the syringe after the fact...
the sperm was jacked off in ann arbor and driven, by car, to ypsilanti.
this potential baby is a gas hog.

yes, the jar above held the jiz.

holding the syringe after it just expelled a 1.5 CCs of fluid into k's special place.

we've injected a total of six times now.
today we are heading to chicago to get more sperm.
i'm not happy about spending a week in chicago.
see i have to be there for work on Monday the 9th through Wednesday the 11th.
so, i will have spent a full seven days there if k's temperature does not go up before saturday.
the smiley face on the ovulation pee stick is still incognito, but k thinks she is fertile now, so we are off to burn more fuel to collect sperm from the don don who moved from 10 minutes down the road to 4.5 hours away.
who knows what the freeway will be like. I-94 during holiday traffic will be just fucking fabulous.
oh, see how positive i am. if i was following the teachings of the secret, i would say let's just stay home cause my negative energy has already corrupted the mission. but that shit is just that shit.
if we don't end up pregnant this time it will be all because of this rant on this blog--for sure.