We have been through death and sorrow (my gram went on, my too young uncle, also) in the last month. Work is full and good. Preparation for our dear one is in full swing as K is 35 weeks into this mystery. We are gathering supplies, writing down notes for our desires, and moving toward giving birth at home.
These walls have held the years of others' living like dark stories caught in sunlight. These walls are thick with horse hair plaster and layers of paint and old wall paper glue. These walls are witness to the stretched vocal chord sound of song, fury, love, heartache, winter frost, summer dew, the scent of sex, the idleness of waiting, the quiet of stillness, the hectic murmur of insomnia, the bewildered moments before knowing, the aches, the pitter patter of small animals and children (animals too), the last breaths of loved ones. So much has happened in these rooms in the last 107 years; so much we do not know; so much we do know.
And soon we will be adding to the memories of these walls and the ceilings and the floors. Soon, K will be wailing the cries of child birth; notes that have long vowels and crazy consonants carrying out the ends of her mouth. Soon, she will walk over worn wood in rhythms we are yet to understand. Soon, this thing we know so little about and have tried to learn too much about, will devour us with its mystery and we will make invisible etchings of experience all around us.
On Saturday, we took ourselves out for a fancy date (the last one till our world is turned upside down by the introduction of this new being into our lives). Beforehand, K bathed in our old, deep clawfoot tub. Dusk was on the fringe; gray cascaded through the windows in autumn clad slices, and I took pictures of this graceful beauty unfolding within and throughout this woman i love with every ounce of all of me. Below are a few:
belly ball in bath
angel 
amazing
shimmer in the tub
gorgeous beyond, beyond
3 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about so many of your family passing on. Hard times.
And, yes, that is a lovely, lovely belly. Take good care of each other.
gorgeous beyond beyond BEYOND!
Beautiful! I am wishing both of you the very best and the easiest, most peaceful homebirth possible. I'm not gonna lie...labor is no joke. But it was totally worth it. And if I may offer you a teeny bit of advice as the new parent of a 2-week old: have a yoga ball around for when the baby is fussy. One of the only things that soothes my wee one is when we bounce her on the yoga ball. Well, that and boobs. The boobs are important, too.
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