Sunday, January 5, 2014

this butchmama is back

Been on a big, long break from this here blog.  But, kk tells me I have to be writing.  And, she is totally right.

I would change the name of this blog and call it something like butchmama or GQmama or i can be your daddy or out of place.  Or, something about being butch and gender queer and a mama in a place where there are not too many other people like me.

But.

k is working on trying to get knocked up again and so the title still suffices.  

And.

Really, I need somewhere to reflect on the strange little things that come up because of who I am in the world as a parent, a butch, a queer, a gender non-conforming person, a mama, a non-bio mama, a step-in daddy, and the list goes on.

Things keep surfacing.  From kiddos: Situations.  Sentences.  Questions.  All bubble up from the mouth of my baby and the mouths of the kids around her.  Things keep surfacing.  From me: personal insecurities, doubts, insights, my loud voice.

So, I am trying to be back on this.  If anyone out there is still reading (or for new readers), I need supportive inter-web community.  I have good real life community here, but a big chunk is missing cause most of the folks I know with kids are straight and not-gender queer and while they are not narrow, it is not the same as being able to reflect with someone on how he/she/ze deals with their kid pining for a daddy and mamanonnie coming to the rescue by being the daddy.  I am will's daddy and/or mama.  I'll be what she needs me to be.  We've been constructing this all along.  We are constantly building our family and working to be present with one another in our needs-- both personal and familial.

So.

To building family and to being our authentic selves...To writing more in 2014.

6 comments:

tessapitre said...

I am so glad you are back. (To this space, to writing here. I don't know what kind of support I can give, beyond reading everything you write here, twice.)

starrhillgirl said...

Oh, look! It's you! Hooray!

the injector said...

Thanks so much tessapitre and starrhillgirl for welcoming me back. it was strange to be away and strange to return. here is to trying.

eeny meeny said...

Yay! Glad to hear from you! I'm not gender queer, but I'm a lesbian with a wife and a two year old son. I wonder how soon he'll be asking about daddy, and curious how you talk with Will about it.

Anonymous said...

So glad you are writing again. Yours is such an important voice. My partner and I plan to begin injecting in a few/five years, and it's so helpful/beautiful/heartening to read the story of your family here.

allthingsrelative said...

I am so glad that you are writing here again. My wife identifies as butch and we talk about these kinds of questions all.the.time. Sadly we haven't found any local queer friends to join in the conversations about parenting or gender so we are both thankful for your writing.