Thursday, August 9, 2007

Surrounded by bodily fluids

We skipped trying this month. We just could not make it to Chicago—not k by herself, not me with k. It just didn’t work. I could not have gone even if we had ended up stumbling into cash and time, cause I got food poisoned on Thursday night, and I was recuperating all weekend.

This food poisoning caused me to puke for the first time since I was 6, save for a drunken spew when I was in the 10th grade. That is how sick I was—my fear of vomiting was enormous until one week ago. I shat almost uncontrollably for 6 hours. And part way through that the puke came. And then the next day my body was like a defeated vessel of lifelessness. I had a fever—all day long—from dehydration (or maybe whatever toxin had waged battled on my intestines and gut). For the rest of the weekend I mostly sat around on our very uncomfortable couch and watched mindless television.

I think some spoiled Russian/thousand island dressing on a veggie Reuben caused the explosion in my body to occur. Ughh…

Anyhow, I’m better now. I sucked on gatorade and vernors, popsicles and jello for a few days and now my belly seems happy.

I hope that overcoming my fear of puking will help when it comes to raising up a kid when ever the sugar patch decides to take. Cause wee ones are like test tubes of germs and stank and viruses. And I need to really be able to clean up a pile of puke or diarrhea, so that k does not get stuck with it all.

When I was 19, I was still living at home with my ma and dad. I got some really nasty virus and passed out in the hall way and shit my pants. My loving mother attended to my mess like it was second nature. I need a gut and heart like the one my mom demonstrated that day. So, I am slowly building it.

As I stroll through this journey with all of these bodily fluids surfacing around me, I am building the kind of stamina that it will take to be there, strong and constant, for another life in all of his/her alien and familiar facets.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

Whoowee, it's amazing what mothers can stomach, isn't it? i think it comes a little more naturally once you actually have that baby--or at least that's what i'm hoping for.
Glad you're feeling better...that sounds purely awful!

chatteringsilence said...

Is there one thing you do just halfway?

gold star said...

poor thing. glad you're on the up and up.

Just found your blog - will be following your awesome story.

My partner and I are on a similar road. What a ride.

reticulatedmama said...

man! my heart went out to you reading that post. as a mama of the may times i have been puked on the prize was when the monkey was 4/5 ish and puked a shower of raisin vomit on my shoulder and back as i carried him through the living room. that exact moment my massage appointment rang the doorbell... obviously i canceled that appointment and told her to go home as i stank of vomitish raisinness.