Wednesday, April 9, 2008

banjos and blood

andru the banjo player

more banjo madness

Our weekend was marked by banjos and blood.

Yes, blood.

It came on Sunday with a blunt, sharp pouring out into kk’s panties.
I was not expecting anything else; I’ve stopped expecting it to be different. I’ve stopped thinking that this will work without intervention of the western scientific sort (which bothers me). But, now we are going on our tenth try, and, well, something is not quite working.

Yes, banjos.
On Saturday, we went to a fundraiser, the fullfreight banjo overload, for the Ypsilanti Freight House. It was held at the Corner Brewery and we had a delightful time. A bunch of different bands played music centering around the banjo (at least partly). Really, it was foot stomping fun. This young fellow,Andru Bemis, played and he can really pick his banjo like there is no tomorrow. I dug his sound and energy a whole lot.

kk is hot. she had fun watching banjo playing

We also saw Anna Ash

She has a real sweet voice—like a bird, powerful and tantalizing.

And then the evening was capped off with Black Jake and the Carnies. Some more footstomping fun--real hyper and full of fun energy.

watching banjo playing and drinking beer while sporting my new self done hair cut


biscodo said...

ok, maybe this is a dumb-ass question, but I'll ask it anyway: have you tried a hybrid "traditional" approach?

I mean, if kk is completely repulsed by the presence of a naked penis, and/or the potential bio-dad is completely repulsed by a vagina, I can understand how DIY techniques would be limited. But if neither of those cases are true, there's the last-second "insertion" method for a completely flesh-based insemination method. (i.e. "insertion method" for conception being the exact opposite of the "withdrawl method" for contraception)

Of course, this raises all sorts of intimacy issues, but you're already on fairly intimate terms fluid-wise to begin with, no? Before giving up on DIY fertility, are you willing to stretch comfort levels to achieve the goal? I'm not suggesting that it would be an easy path to navigate, but I wonder if it's possible that there's somewhere in the chain-of-handling of boy-juice that might be the difficulty, and that could be solved by the hands-free delivery technique... ??

I dunno, I'm just throwing ideas out here. Before you go the route of traditional fertility therapy (which, judging from my sister's experience over 5 tries, was exhausting, and incredibly expensive), you might think about going through as many options as imaginable, crazy as they might be.

tiff said...

Oh man. I'm so sorry! Has your donor been completely checked out for sperm count and motility?? Are the spermies good swimmers AND a good shape. Do you know that they can swim in the right direction....that may sound silly, but sometimes sperm count is really high and they just, plain, can't swim. I really hope you guys get some answers soon. Sending lots of support and love to you and KK.

Great pic of your girl by the way.
Also, could you post a pic of the new do up close?

vee said...

More blood?
Why does this have to be hard for so many of us?
I'm sorry.
I'm also utterly unconvinced that biscodo's suggestion would make the blindest bit of difference. I can't see how flesh-delivery could possibly be significantly superior to syringe-delivery. It's the same stuff, going into the same place, at around the same time.
And it makes my red flags fly.

biscodo said...

Vee - I'm not convinced, either. Just throwing suggestions out there.

It's the same stuff going to the same place, but as you know, scrotums shrink and stretch to regulate temperature because sperm are sensitive to ambient temp - which has been show to affect fertility. See this page for other notes about "optimizing fertility". Using a container to transfer adds another variables from the surface of the container. Injecting through a syringe shears the fluid through the orafice in the syringe (cell breakage?)

I can't convince you one way or another about your red flags. I can assure you up and down that I'm a friend to kk and the injector who wishes only the best for them in their Baby Quest, but there's absolutely no reason for you to believe me.

But then, I'm just some het whiteboy with a boring haircut, so it's probably best to suspect me of ill intentions. There's probably no chance that I'm an ally, is there?

the injector said...

at this juncture in this adventure, scientific means exploring the possibility of hormonal imbalance, problems with spermage (though I doubt that it is a problem cause bd has children), problems with egg droppage, etc.

i, like vee, am real hesitant about going near the human apparatus.

I do realize that sperms get rattled and changed up a bit during the transport from jar, to syringe, to my kk's soft parts, but I also know quite a few of my queer friends who got knocked up this way.

Some of them got pregnant on the first or second time; some it took a year or longer.

I do think that perhaps I should be using a fresh syringe more often. I've been using the same one repeatedly and washing it out and drying it.

I'm not in to welcoming a real-live penis into my bedroom or my kk. I've never been into it. I even think I would try shooting sperms via syringe up in to me before I would agree to a penis in kk. But, maybe then she feels entirely different?

Anonymous said...

ay dios mio
all this p talk makes me nervous
if you are not both v v happy with it.

there are barrels of things i don't do anymore bc my partner wouldn't like it incl. eating doritos in bed and more serious pizazzle. and that's a-ok.

know what i mean, nat nat?


m in durango

biscodo said...

Well, contrary to perceptions, I'm not trying to persuade anyone about flesh-delivery.

I had no idea that penises made people so nervous. I can't help perceiving that nervousness as similar to het fathers distancing themselves from the birth process because "that's women's stuff". There's a boy parts in there somewhere to get at the boy juice - can't avoid it these days. Someday, medical technology may come up with ____ as an alternative sperm-based parental DNA, but until then, there's going to be a weiner involved in the process, even if its involvement stops miles before k's parts begin...

I was just throwing ideas out there that didn't involve expensive lab tests and clinical procedures. Recall that I originally said: "I mean, if kk is completely repulsed by the presence of a naked penis, and/or the potential bio-dad is completely repulsed by a vagina..." Obviously to N, there's another reason: she seems to not want that and would veto it.

Sorry to make anyone nervous - I was just talking anatomy, not trying to convince anyone of the merits.

starrhillgirl said...

What is up with all the fucking blood? Such a bummer, although I am happy kk and I will be cycling together again.

My answer to the sadly typical question of "why not use the old peen?" is that us queer kids are already at the point where straight folks go when they've had no luck with the so-called regular method. For me, it's not so much revulsion with male anatomy, but the desire to make my family happen in ways that reflect who I am. And yes, any sort of fertility therapy, traditional or alternative, *is* expensive and exhausting. After 5 tries, or 1 try or 17. It's so good to hear that people who haven't done the baby thing yet are aware of this.

I was really reluctant to dive into western meds, too and I started at a very simple, easy level. You can get basic blood work done at your regular dr's and find out hormone levels while still doing the DIY insems.

The banjo-filled weekend sounds fab and I'd like more new-haircut pics as well. Tell kk she's cute.

andrea m. said...

wow, you always make your fun filled weekend sounds so great--i want to be there. you two have a beautiful thing together!
i agree, for what it's worth, kk and the donor should (if not already) do some non-evasive testing to see if sperm is motile and eggs are "receptive". there are lots of options for help, western, non, know all this. it's so personal, but damn if you don't exaust yourselves trying. this baby fever gets way down deep, primal, like birth itself. every phase prepares you for the next. this is all getting you closer to what you want.
nat, would you kill me if i asked, would you try and get preggers? i assume hell no, but i wanted to ask. not that that is any's way complicated, i know. i remember feeling WACKED when i was trying w/ a donor. like a crazy fool had taken over my body, so possessed. but i look back and think, that may have been the only way to be? who knows. i love you both.