Wednesday, January 27, 2010


I know, I've been a blogging slacker. I swear I will have some things to rant and rave about soon. But, I am in the process of a search for a new employee at work (well the person will be the only other employee besides me in our office) and it seems to take up all of my time.

In the meantime, I just wanted to let you all in on a not-so-little-secret. K and I are having an UNWEDDING.

After 10 long years we decided it was time to make a public display of our love and possibly our affection (ya, a little ass grabbing and booby brushing might take place).

Below are the words in our invite:

We decided 10 years (that is 3,650 days) was a long time. A longer time than many folks stay in relationships at all and a way longer time than what most people, who are able to get married (in the legal sense of the word), wait before tying the knot. Every one of those thousands of days has passed without a day of formal or public recognition—every day has been our unwedding.

We thought it was time to demonstrate in a public kind of way our love, our commitment, and our gratitude for the last ten years we have spent together.

We think that love and commitment is much more than vows and convention. We actually believe in many of the points raised in the Beyond Marriage ( statement that was originally released in 2006. Some of the points from the executive summary are listed below:

Marriage is not the only worthy form of family or relationship, and it should not be legally and economically privileged above all others. A majority of people – whatever their sexual and gender identities – do not live in traditional nuclear families. They stand to gain from alternative forms of household recognition beyond one-size-fits-all marriage. For example:

· Single parent households
· Senior citizens living together and serving as each other’s caregivers (think Golden Girls)
· Blended and extended families
· Children being raised in multiple households or by unmarried parents
· Adult children living with and caring for their parents
· Senior citizens who are the primary caregivers to their grandchildren or other relatives
· Close friends or siblings living in non-conjugal relationships and serving as each other’s primary support and caregivers
· Care-giving relationships that provide support to those living with extended illness such as HIV/AIDS.

With all of that being said, we love to throw a good party and after ten strong, lovely, hard, and amazing years, we woke up one morning, not too many days ago, and thought we should throw a big she-bang. A big, fat UNWEDDING.

Cause still while we can rant on about how things should be, in reality things are still messed up, and we cannot jointly adopt and if one of us ended up hurt and incapable of making decisions for herself in some ass-backwards conservative county in Michigan or Florida, the unhurt one could be kept from the bedside (perhaps the deathbed) of the hurt one. And when one of us dies all that we have paid into social security our whole working lives will not be able to be designated to the other.

So, a party with a purpose. Before all of you we would like to state that the other is our life-long companion, beloved, mate, best friend—we desire to be together always and when one of us is having trouble walking the other will be there to carry her.

Legally or not.


ang said...

woohoo! you two are the greatest. cheers, and I cannot wait! i am honored to attend and participate in this amazing event between two of the loveliest, most dedicated, loving, generous, and amazing people i know.

f said...

wooooohoooo! a million congrats and what a great invite. i'm so glad you're still blogging so that we can share in your amazing energy, spirit, love and thoughts. wishing you both a kick-ass unwedding and a lifetime of hot steamy tender love. xoxo

Joanna said...

This is lovely. I've been reading your blog for a while and my first comment is to say that I adore public displays of love, particularly when coming from people that have such incredible respect for each other. So have fun, do some public ass-grabbing and let other folks bask in the loveliness of your union!

vee said...

Happy unwedding, you beautiful people. May you continue to make each other complete for many lifetimes to come.

jessie said...

sounds amazing. you must share pics.

Mrs. Basement said...

i dont think x rumer has to tell YOU to be excited about your CHEAP ERUPTION today or any day! solemnized booby brushing! Rabbit ears! Top hats! Good for you!

Farmer Femme said...

congratulations! brilliant, touching invite. can't wait for all the details. and pictures of course. and food porn. i just know you'll have good food.

Anonymous said...

10 years is a long time. Congrats to both of you!

la_sale_bete said...

What a nice sentiment. Your unwedding will be rad. Congratulations!

ms. awesome said...

sniffle. you just made me tear up a little. totally beautiful intentions! (and the party looked fantastic too!)