too many days; too much writing; but oh so much fun

i will not moan.
i will not groan.
the days have been beautiful. full of life and sun and friends and family and goodness and things growing.

i've been evaluating and evaluating my life. and soon i will have to start to take some action on what i want to do with the rest of my living when it comes to work.

but in the meantime, this weekend was good in spite of that unending feeling of sadness that seems to have wedged itself in my gut and heart for sometime to come.

so, on friday i rode in the ypsilanti fourth of july parade with a group of twenty bike ypsi folks. we came out in our neverending unusualness--families, avid cyclists, man with a hand-pedaled bicycle, punk rock kids and punk rock elders, and me in my 4th of july pants.



i am not patriotic--far from it--but red white and blue make good striped pants and i rode with my one less car banner taped to my bicycle and others had great messages about stopping dependence on oil for transportation and stopping the war connected to that dependence; it was all beautiful and simultaneously subversive in its own local way!



then we headed to my aunt m and uncle e's for a party with our friends t-motion and mandark and remus. we drank piss water beer and ate yummy food and i got to see my cousin c and her man j and their chitlins. then we all headed to my sister's and hung out and kk, remus, t-motion, and mandark all drank a lot of mojitos and some of them swam and i shot the shit out with my dad and watched huey lewis and the news play music in front of the white house on some pbs fourth of july special. then some of us crashed at my sis's and t-motion and mandark crashed at my parents and listened to my parents tell crazy ass stories about me.

the next day, saturday, we went home. of course.

i mowed the lawn and did yard work.

then we went to kensington metro park with t and r and rode our bikes into island lake state park. we had a delightful picnic--basil, caper pasta; garlicky fava beans; goat cheese, gouda, and munster with crackers; corn on the cob; watermelon; fake oreos; blueberries, and wine. we talked, laughed and rode a good 16 miles through meadows and shadey wooded areas. then i stripped under a towel and put on some old shorts and jumped in a lake and swam and kk joined me and we tuckered ourselves out. it was a calm and good day; a day with people who love me and k for all of who we are and with our flaws included, a day that helped me dig out a little from this ever-creeping sadness.

on sunday, we slept till 10:00--yes 10:00. i woke and went directly to the back yard and weeded and weeded and weeded and weeded. i like to weed. i weed when i am waiting. i weed when i need peace. i love that weeding is always needed. i do love it.

then we went on a good, long sunday bike ride with 12 other folks who came out for our weekly bike ypsi rides.

then we had a spontaneous (kind of) bbq with t and r and tc and j. again, we ate delicious food. vegan pesto pasta, veggie and fake sausage and veggie and shrimp shish kabobs, bbq sauce quorn roll ups (salad and cilantro with grilled quorn naked patties and bbq sauce), black bean dip and tortilla chips, and rhubarb sauce/fresh strawberry drenched angel food cake with vanilla ice cream for dessert. we drank beer, sangria and mojitos (i only drank the beer) and talked and enjoyed dusk.

monday, i did not work. my 5 year old nephew, m, spent the day with me and we had a blast. i picked him up at a storage unit in plymouth (his dad was there for his new job) at 9:30a.m. and he stayed with me until 8:30. a long and lovely day. this was his birthday present (his birthday was in may). we drove to ann arbor and i ate breakfast; he had half a cookie and took the other half over to kk at her work.
we then walked to the comic book store where i proceeded to buy him a demon figurine (i did not know that spawn = satan's fallen. m and his family are believers/christians. but the figurine is super cool). Then we had an almost pee accident, but we ran like olympic sprinters through the streets of ann arbor. and we made it.

then we took kk over to the bike shop to drop off her bicycle so that it gets new brake pads and a tune up. we got m a new helmet (his ma asked me to) and then we ate some sushi (m wanted it).

then we dropped k back at work and micah and i went cheese tasting. the whole point of our day together was centered around this cheese. the plan was (and unfolded as planned) to make macaroni and cheese together and then his mom and dad and brother and sister and kk would all be at my house for dinner! M loves cheese and he picked a lovely, grassy montgomery cheddar and a mild but earthy chantal for the mac and cheese.

we came home and made the cheesy noodle goopiness. M shredded like a mad shredder and he whisked the cheesy sauce with amazing gentleness. then, we took pookah the whippet for a walk. micah discovered the ball launcher, and, after pookah tired, he continued to sling the ball very far and run to boy-fetch it.



we clipped kale from both of my gardens and made it home before a thunderstorm. while it stormed, we sat in our "new" art room (k and i have been rearranging our former male-rental space--we used to rent our back room out and two men at two different times were our only renters--into an art room. we had to smudge it profusely to get the strange ass energy that had landed there out) we drew large veggie mania signs (the name of our dinner service for the evening).

then kk came home all wet from the storm. shortly after her arrival, M's family arrived and we baked the mac and cheese and steamed all of the kale and then we ate and ate.

we listened to music and micah's little sister,a, danced to the banjo picking, foot stomping tunes and micah's big brother,j, listened with an ear intent on figuring out what instrument he wants to dedicate his time to.

kk and ayla

there was more but i am now breathless and ready for bed.