Sunday, December 14, 2008

Amazing + Absurd = the lives of kk and the injector

Um, ya.

So, remember how we slung some seed up me a few weeks back?
And do you remember how it was the first time I had ever done such a thing?
And do you remember how long we have been trying to get my kk pregnant?

I will synopsify the attempts to get kk pregnant here:
18 months of trying (may 07-nov 08)
20 months total since the start of the whole endeavor
80 inseminations
4 visits to reproduction clinic
3 months on clomid (devil, devil, devil drug)

And then the one time on a whim when kk thought me fertile and our donor and kk decided to play a game of brief back and forth, snarky emails throughout the day--planning in sinister and loving cahoots the injection of me.

Come that night, two days before thanksgiving 2008, my love shot me up with this potential life giving fluid. She did it so gracefully and passionately my heart sprung a leak of everlasting love.

Well nearly three weeks since that fateful night, I have peed on 3 pregnancy sticks—two on Monday the 8th of December (almost 6 hours apart) and one on Friday the 12th of December after missing my period by two and a half days and all of them have shouted the positive PREGNANT.

Now on Monday evening, you should have seen me in clear and intense shock; stunned to a sit down on my ass stupor. Well you can see it below in the action photo sequence that kk took of me.

Anyhow, I tested a day and half before my period was due and got the positives. I did not start my period, and this morning (six days later) no period and moving into what seems to be my fifth week of pregnancy.

And still I am in a state of disbelief, but I am so in tune with my body that I do notice the distinct changes; abdominal pulling, gassy belly, super sleepy, bits of nausea and then me wiggling and turning and staying wide awake for hours on end when I should be sleeping. Though the last two nights, I have slept deep and fully and had crazy vivid dreams.

So, there you have it. I am carrying a little seed critter. After all of this trying and hoping and being let down and trying again and hoping some more and hitting our heads against so many elusive and hard walls, we tried this one time with me, and bang it worked. Like my mama asked, “N, do you think this is a miracle?” In some way, it is; it really, really is. I mean one time—the one time that semen has ever entered my body and presto.

At this time, I am pregnant. And kk and I are hoping with all of the hope we can muster from the deep steamy, stinking parts of our guts and the bloody, pumping parts of our hearts that this wee critter sticks and stays with us and chooses to be part of our lives.

p.s. I was hesitant about putting this up here cause I know how very early along I am, but I am trying to live each moment of this newness in joy and deep inquisitiveness.

p.s. kk is very thrilled and happy about all of this and together we will work through the sadness connected to the months and months and nearly two years of the trying without implantation that she has been through. Also, she will become a frequent guest poster here at injection reflections since she seems to be the more capable injector of the two of us:)

We went Christmas tree shopping for the first time in our nearly 9 year relationship right after we got the first positive. We were in crazy moods; happy and stunned.


starrhillgirl said...

Well check you out!
I am so happy for y'all - go on ahead with your bad selves!
All my hopes are winging across the mountains, headed west and north to you.

Joy said...

Congratulations to you and your kk. I was just starting to wonder what had happened with your whim of a switcheroo. Appears that they scheming was meant to be. I too hope that your "wee critter" sticks and stays with you and chooses to be part of your lives.

Stephanie said...

I am just weeping with joy for you!!!! Congrats!!!

francesca said...

oh WOW. this is just amazing, wonder-full news. i've been wondering how you two were doing -- this is awesome. this life is so crazy, isn't it? sadness, hope, joy, shock all in one - none diminished by the others. all adding to something else - a possible kidlet for your awesome family. congrats, congrats. i'm so happy.

biscodo said...

That is abso-fabu-tastic. Congratulations, to the both/all of you :)

(love that second-to-last picture, btw - the raw "holy crap, is this real?" moment)

Tia said...

OMG! That is freaking awesome! Congrats!

Att said...

I had a feeling it'd work. I just knew y'all were due your miracle and boom! There it is. Trust me, I checked obsessively EVERY day.

So congrats, you two. I really do mean it!

reticulatedmama said...

i do also love the second to last photo. much love mamas.

plump said...

Woah. Incredible. I'm shocked. I can't imagine what kind of state you must be in.

Congratulations. What amazing and totally unexpected news!

mrs. bluemont said...

Wow! I am just going to be stuck with this grin on my face all night with your news. So thrilled for you both.

Looking forward to many many months more of your delightful blog with pics and kk posts.

So much love, S

Strawberry said...

Congratulations to you both! Shockingly wonderful news indeed.

vee and jay said...

I just shouted so loud for jay that I scared the dog! Oh. My. Life! That really is the most amazing news. We're SOOOOO happy for you and your KK - such an amazing spark of joy after all those months of heartache. Brilliant! Love from us both to you both.

sandra said...

That is so awesome so amazing so wonderful! Congratulations!

jay said...

hooray again!!!!

you two made our day!!

oh, and vee wants to know where you got your cap, because she wants to buy me one(!) xxxx

Dawn said...

Congratulations to the both of you!!
This is quite the amazing turn of events! I love these pictures - they capture the moment so well and must be the beginning of your beautiful baby book for your "wee critter" :)
I had a feeling something was up when I saw you two just seemed way too happy!!

Lyn said...

Congratulations to you and KK! I can't believe it! In a way, it can be good to mix things up, even though it can be hard.

halfadozen said...

I am grinning ear to ear... Congrats! Looking forward to hearing all about it all!

R said...

Oh my!! THAT IS WONDERFUL WONDERFUL NEWS!! Congrats ladies to ya!! may you have a happy and healthy next 9 months :)

1,000 Butterflies said...

*wow.* many congratulations. :) the universe operates in some mysterious and stunning ways. that's exiting....

jessie said...

holy fucking shit! SO happy for you both.

erin said...

Okay so I was just on KK's facebook and saw that she became fans of a birth project and I thought - man, I haven't checked out your blog in a while, let me see if anything is going on - and low and be-fuckin-hold your pregnant!!!!!!! Congratulations. I am shocked and super happy for you guys. And what great news to hear about Grandma! What little Christmas miracles!!!

Love you guys!

Andre said...

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!


David said...

that first photo is killing me.
love it.
love you guys.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to both of you!!! Thank you for showing your stunned and happy face, N. Way to know your body. I found out because I was thinking of going in a hot spring, and I thought... let me just check. I still have the stick.

Love you.


reticulatedmama said...

i must say i am still having a holy shit moment when i visit here. :)

Sarah at Notes from 2 Moms said...

im so sorry i missed the good good news. wow.