Monday, December 1, 2008

will i catch a pregnancy

We just arrived home from kk's dad's house. We watched jaws 2 with him and ate cupcakes for his 62nd birthday. our drive home was very, very slickery. Winter is here in good old Michigan. It is about 30 degrees and icy.

Icy drive home

On our way out to her pop's, I noticed that all the strip clubs on Michigan avenue were thumping--packed out parking lots--and this was at 5:30 on a Monday evening. It is strange that the economy is down real, real bad here in the previously motor ruled--now motor dying state and still horny men are spending cash on liquor and titty views. Oh, I guess it really is not all that strange. When you are down and out, what's better than some booze and boobs?

Anyhow, this post is not supposed to be about ladies' parts or a dying economy or automobiles. It really is supposed to be all about me and what's been up in our super busy, but then all quiet lives.

We had turkey day here at our queer pad again. I deep cleaned the house for many days. Then I cooked a hell of a lot. Then our family and friends arrived. Then we ate a lot of the food that was cooked. Then everybody left. Then K and I slept for hours and hours each night that we had left of our vacation/weekend. Then we did nothing at all. Then I chopped a huge chunk of skin out of my left index finger and it bled for 1.5 hours and hurt like hell for about 13 hours and is still swollen [in the last two months or so, I have wounded my hands by either slicing or burning multiple times; universe what message are you sending me?]. Then kk yelled at me to be more careful with knives. Then we relaxed.

me relaxing in the small dose of sun we have had in the last many, many weeks

Monday we went back to work.

Today, I am waiting patiently to see if the mother of all miracles is taking place inside my body. yes, my body. yes, many days back we shot some living fluid up into my body. It was done on a whim. I think nothing will come of it. Kk thought I was ripe so we injected me with some semen (but I pretended it was something else like special lubricant or something, because I have never had sperm in my body before--not ever).

See,I woke up and said, "I think I have fertile mucus." Then we went to work. Then kk called me at work and said, "baby, I think we should try on you tonight." Then potential bio-dad said cool. So, come nighttime, we did it.

I keep pretending I am a queer virgin mary (or a 17 year old girl who can get pregnant from leg crawling sperms) and this one time this special dose of jiz (god breathed into me through the saint like fingers of my loving kk and the plastic cavity of a syringe--yes like the kind you feed medicine to cats with--) will get me prego.

A shot in the dark for fucking real, and kind of fun all at once.

p.s. more to come soon about what's up with kk's repro office experience and our thoughts regarding the use of my womb for potentially carrying a wee critter into the world of the living.


f said...

Ah! Wow. Been wondering where the lovely ladies of I.R. have been. How did you decide? How are you feeling about it?! We had vaguely a similar conversation this weekend, although it's all hypothetical for us since none of this is happening yet. But we did find something interesting out. We know this great couple, one of whom is definitely a bit more womanly/femme and the other (I know) practices much more along the lines of genderqueer/dykey/butchy. I'd pretty mistakenly assumed it had been the former who had carried their twins...but NOPE! Obviously you know this happens, but thought I'd throw it out there as a little reminder of your sister/fellowhood community who support and admire you from afar.

OK but wasn't it a weird feeling?

jay said...

Wow!! Blimey. Fun is good. Got fingers crossed here, as always.

Anonymous said...

Well, go on with your bad self! I'm doing the deed later this week. Let's get knocked up in December, babe.

S. said...

wow! didn't see that coming! :) good luck!!

myryah said...


tiff said...

WOW! I think it's awesome that you're doing this! Lots of good luck ladies!! xo

qweerblue said...

What a brave and wondrous thing to do, Nat. I always think of you with a super-green thumb (possibly a little hacked up now, given your late prediliction for slicing the flesh off your digits), so, I'm thinking you probably have a green womb, as well. May your wee one take root.

Anonymous said...

Uh huh. If you get pregnant, I will never be more glad that you have a blog. Something tells me that you will not go quietly, gracias a dios. I will tell you baby stories to make it seem more worth it. :)

Much love for you and your mucus related efforts.



Zoe the Wonder Dog said...

Well, now, that's an interesting turn of events!

So... would it be comforting or not for me to tell you that I "caught" both my pregnancies?

Anonymous said...

What a perfect way to wiggle some fun into winter. I'm glad you are bringing the whim and whimsy back to this grueling process and with the best for both of you and your lovely wombs. xo

f said...

Saw this and thought of you:

check out the top part!

1,000 Butterflies said...

i came across your blog awhile ago and wanted to say hello and that i think what you are doing is amazing and beautiful.

much luck to you and kk from a fellow blogger!