Thursday, April 22, 2010

my bleeding lover

This morning kk had another ultra sound at the repro clinic. The wee little embryo is still alive.

The heart was thumping--strong.

The doctor was just fantastic and I wish she could be my regular obgyn. Anyhow, we saw what's been causing the bleeding; it's a Subchorionic Hemorrhage. The doc explained that the gestational sack is like a cancer and it is burrowing deep into the womb and it disrupted a vessel which then pulled up blood and came out kk's vagina.

So, now she may bleed a bit more here and there. It will take some time to heal. Anyhow, it is toward the front of the sack and not very much of it is touching the thick wall surrounding the embryo.

Hopefully, there will be no more disruption and the wee thing will keep growing and a healthy pregnancy will ensue.

It is still a waiting game. A worry game. As the doctor said today, when the baby gets born and is out of the womb it is still all about wearing your heart inside out.

Very right.

In the meantime, I am trying to relax in the middle of a whirlwind of emotion...


f said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!! Thank the goddesses. Thank you Subchorionic Hemorrhage (but could you have a lower-key name? How about tiny little implantation nick. thanks.)

Really thrilled and especially since it seems like you have a 'cause' for the bleeding -- always a good sign. I'm sure it's unsettling but the unknown is worse.

Also thrilled that the doc is sweet and has a bit of humour, and willing to double-check your worries. It takes a village to carry this legacy forward.

Thanks for updating us! Have a nice night with your birds & bees :-)

Anonymous said...

Keep breathing, my friend. Just keep breathing.

(my smile over this is too huge to be encompassed by one of those cheesy emoticons)

Jessica h. said...

Thump little seed! Keep thumping!

Molly Wieser said...

Sometimes there are advantages to checking your blog once a week instead of every day, so I can be relieved without waiting as you had to. Love you.

Farmer Femme said...

Blood is so scary. You are both incredible in it's way. I'm overjoyed that your baby is beating and growing and being all she is.

Overjoyed. xoxoox

myryah said...

Ah, relief. Thanks for the update, Injector! The doc is right about the inside out heart...

Liz DMG said...

It's so difficult, this uncertainty and feeling of powerlessness. My thoughts are with you both, sending good intentions.

If I may suggest ...

You might consider contacting Beth at Indigo Forest for some possible herbal treatments?

jay and vee said...

PHEW in gigantic proportions.hope the sub hem thingy behaves itself. lots ot love. xx

Jess said...

What relief. Phew. Thinking lots about you both. xox

Susan said...

Hi there,

I found your blog on Congratulations on your family's pregnancy! I hope everything goes smoothly.

I hope you don’t mind me writing to tell you about my book.

I am coeditor of a new anthology on queer parenting, just released in the United States (not sure if it's available in Australia yet, but we do have one Australian contributor): And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents and Our Unexpected Families. As we say on our cover copy, it’s “a funny and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays that offers an intimate and unprecedented look at the relative risks and unexpected rewards of queer, do-it-yourself baby-making. While in many cases these are stories of finding (or not) the “right” biological stuff for baby making, they are also stories that call on us to re-conceive of family beyond biology.”

We’ve been getting great reviews from the likes of Bay Windows (“And Baby Makes More is a thoughtful, funny, and poignant volume about the variety of ways we define families today.”), Mombian (“... the kind of rich explorations of LGBTQ parenting we need more of today”), The Dominion (“The stories in this collection are loud and inspiring examples of courage, creativity and love and queer parenting. ... This book succeeds in the most urgent of the game: creating a space for the stories to be heard.”) and the Gay & Lesbian Review (“... diverse, poignant, and sometimes very funny.... surprising, enlightening and mandatory reading for any lesbians or gay men thinking of embarking on adventures in the wild world of parenthood.”)

I hope the anthology might be of interest to you, and to your extended circles of family and friends. We’d very much appreciate it if you would pass on the word to anyone you think might enjoy the book, which is available online and at many independent and alternative bookstores. You can find more information as well at my blog:

All the best for a happy Mother's Day!
Susan Goldberg

Kitty said...

Wow - that is such wonderful news! Growing a baby and having a baby are heartbreaking endeavors, even when everything goes smoothly. Just knowing that anything bad COULD happen to your child is sometimes more terrifying than I can bear. But it is so, so worth it.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and kk.