Monday, January 7, 2008

a day in the life of a real, live lesbian

waiting for drama

We had some friends over to watch the premiere of the show so many of us love to hate—the l word. As we popped popcorn for the festivities (in our new air popper from r and t—my new favorite toy), I thought how perfect it would be to write about my day, my lesbian day.

new popper!!

Woke up Sunday morning next to my lovely lady. Poached an egg for each of us, made some coffee, and toasted some toast. Consumed the food.

Did some work on this fucking report that we have been working on for way too long (it is about the state of health care and mental health care services in MI’s prisons—bet you want to read it real bad).

Put on my fleece lined pants and my rain pants, a top base-layer and a sweater with my not so waterproof (but water resistant) green jacket, wool hat, thin gloves, and helmet and met up with A for a ride. Rode for a good hour and a half—only about 18 miles, but it was wet and foggy and a bit chilly. I had grease and mud and rode salt all over my body—face included.

my rain pants--i bet you don't get as excited about them as a i do:)

Once we made it back to my house, A tightened my chain cause it had become all slack. I washed my bike and put her to sleep.

Then I made some spicy, squash soup. One butternut; one acorn squash; three cloves of garlic; some onion; some jalapeño; a bit of butter; 4 small potatoes; some rosemary, sage, nutmeg, cayenne; one bottle of arbor brewing company’s dark corner ale; 24 ounces of water; one can 2% condensed milk; salt and pepper; cooked it all down then blended it.

While the soup simmered, I took a long, hot bath in some Epsom salts with tea tree oil, lavender oil, rosemary oil, and eucalyptus oil. Kk joined me at the end.

Then we watched some terribly sentimental queen latifah movie, but damn the queen is fine. I popped the popcorn in the new air popper, and kk dolled it all up with her special sauces—butter, chili pepper, garlic powder, salt, and Parmesan cheese.

And then the ladies spilled into the living room. We had quite a spread of food because of the massive leftovers from New Years Eve. And we ate and ate and drank a little and watched the silliness called the l-word and cracked jokes, and I covered my head repeatedly cause in scenes like the one where shane is getting it on with the girl in the turquoise suit, well I cannot handle that kind of idiocy, so I covered my head.

And now that you’ve read through my blather about my ordinary lesbian day, here’s how it drastically differs from the lame shit depicted on the bewitching, for some unknown reason, l-word.

1.Food-- I make and eat, with a ravenous appetite, my own food. L-word--people nibble on shit made by other people.

2.Work— I do it on the weekdays and the weekends, too. L-word--not a soul has any kind of real job that she goes to on any kind of regular basis.

3.Grease—I get it on my face while riding around on my bicycle. L-word—grease
is the layers of make-up on all of the ladies’ faces even when locked up in some
kind of jail where ladies' hands bust out through the bars as free-world dykes walk down the gallery—that shit don’t happen in real life. No folks from the street allowed to wander haphazardly (eyeing out sexual conquests) through the jail or prison units.

4. Sex--I get all sexual with my lady, for real. L-word--only one or maybe two of the hotties get it on in real life with other ladies.


jessie said...

Found you through someone else in this crazy TTC-land.

Alice & Tasha are pretty delish, no?

Sarah said...

oh, i feel the same way exactly. who are those women on the l word anyway? i have to cover my head too sometimes, but can't seem to stop watching completely! would you please hook jenny up to a cart on your bike and leave her in one of your lakes? glad you had such a lovely day with your gorgeous kk, good friends, and a popper. hope all is going well on the ttc front. ox

tiff said...

It's got it's terrible moments (jenny mainly), but I still cannot stop watching! Sounds like you guys had a great time with friends though! Hope you both are doing well over the TWW.

Chips said...

...yet we all continue to watch. Maybe if they weren't the only dykes on tv, we might be more willing to switch off!

birdy.j said...

I love Alica and Tasha!
I also have a thing for Helena. Can't help myself.... although I slightly miss the bitchy side of her...

starrhillgirl said...

Did we *all* blog about this show? God, I love/hate it so much....

amanda said...

You're a riot. i am waiting to hear the results of the last injection!

Oh, and were you totally disappointed in the premier as we were?

Ypsipearl said...

I've never watched the show, therefore I am not tainted. But thanks for the window on your life, I feel like a lesbian anthropologist now.

Real Live Lesbian said...

I don't watch...after the first season, it just seemed like any other show to me. And it's so unlike how we really are.

Sounds like a fun day! We have a new popper in our house, too. The simple things are the best. Popcorn and friends.