Wednesday, January 23, 2008

the sliver bullet and reality reflection

Thanks for the tips on the orgasm question. Kk did put the silver bullet to good use the other night☺. It always has batteries, but it was just recently replaced, and we had been without one for much of this trying to get with child time. The enormous hatachi wand (the device that replaced the last silver bullet and that always gets a “that was so weird” comment after use) seemed like it might shake the shit out of the sperm and cause catastrophic results, so electronic masturbation had fallen by the wayside and then when the orgasm question resurfaced, well then.

We are diving back into injection mode; silver bullet may be in tow for some of this cycle and may not be; it’s all up to kk and whatever mood she is in.

I really do think the sperm and egg will find synchronicity when they are ready. I’m ready and willing [and learning to be more willing] to be patient for longer. There is no escaping the complexity of this process. But then again, there is no escaping the complexity of life—except learning to be with it and settle our human hearts and minds in reality in the realest ways possible.

Here we are spinning around on this big old brilliant ball of rock and molten and water and earth and vegetation trying to make sense of the various beauteous and monstrous and banal moments that cross our paths. And while frustration may furrow my brow when I learn that our attempts at creating a new creature have failed, I can rest back easy in the reality of having spent amazing and hysterical moments with kk trying to make it stick, and I have been blessed to be touched by the lives of so many kind and gentle-hearted people along this road to conception and in life itself.

1 comment:

tiff said...

Ahh, I'm responding late to the orgasm question! Not a must, but recommended if you can swing it. It's best to have an "O" right after the sperm has been injected. It's hard to get everything "perfect" - I think you guys are doing a bang-on job with this all!!! Keep trying - it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Good luck!!!!