Thursday, March 13, 2008

the blood--again

kk started bleeding last night.

i drank some bourbon and sat around in my unihood doing not much of anything at all.



so it is...

i can't get my panties in a bunch cause i already have them in a bunch about too many other things.

i can't cry or beat my head against the sidewalk cause i'm saving up my tears for the harder days and the sidewalk is too hard and cold.

my life is beautiful and good and free and open--and i cannot moan or groan cause i can wipe my own ass and make delicious food and ride my bike through the biggest puddles and feel the breath of the people i love most in the world on my cheeks or hair or heart whenever i want (except for the dead ones).

6 comments:

plump said...

Aw Man, you pull it together so well. How does one become so zen?

Sorry there's blood. xo

starrhillgirl said...

So there are about a million of us who will be cycling together this time. And it smells like spring outside. That's got to be good for something.

Mrs. Bluemont said...

Fuck. I'm so sorry.

francesca said...

Thanks for the good words to live by this weekend. Acknowledging the pain not to trivialize or move 'beyond' (what is this place that people speak of 'beyond' -- as if you can get there anywhere but through here...) but to wrap it tight and take it along for the ride too.

Hello, Sadness, it's so lovely for you to join us today. Please note that this weekend, we'll be going for a bike ride, eating some good food, and cuddling. You're invited along to join us, Sadness, and we'll include you in our decisions, but please remember your manners!

jay said...

I am sorry too, love.

Jayce said...

I hope this doesn't come across other than how I mean it.

But when it happens, when she becomes pregnant, and when 9 months is up and you are holding that baby in your arms, you will know that it was worth the wait and the disappointment and the months where it didn't happen so that you got there in the end. Each month where it doesn't happen is just another month closer to the baby which is already waiting for you.