Monday, January 5, 2009

coping

i know it has been a long time...

i've been down and out. learning to cope with this critter living in me, has been quite a ride so far. as kk so eloquently put it, i've been feeling downright crappy. i lost about eight pounds, but i am gaining it back. i straight up lost my appetite for two whole weeks. for one week, i shoved bits of food in my mouth, but not enough food so i felt like even worse crap. i was glued to the couch and depressed--depression to the point of no shower for almost one solid week.

i went from being super active to no action...at all. now i am walking at least 40 minutes a day which helps immensely. and i plan on visiting the bicycle at the gym as soon as i am eating more veg and protein again.

anyhow, this ride is something. it is miraculous that the sperm took after one time. i feel blessed and scared and thrilled and more scared and excited and scared.

i also feel loved. i feel loved by my bio-family and my chosen family and neighbors and old friends and new friends. i am so thankful for this abounding love. i am so thankful that k and i get to bring a wee one onto this life surrounded with good and strong and caring and loving people.

i have my first phone interview with the clinic next week and my first appointment with the midwife is on february 6--one more month of waiting. it seems like forever, but i know it is not.

that's it for now.

happy,happy new year!

7 comments:

motherwilling said...

I'm glad you're coping. I hope eventually it can be more than that. Sounds like the walking is the way to go until you feel up for more and Feb 6th will be here in no time.

Lyn said...

I'm also a previously avid biker, now pregnant (18 weeks) and like you, I think the lack of activity made the first trimester harder, even though I really was doing everything I could do (which was pretty much walking, maybe total of 30-50 minutes). I have gotten more energy back now and am back up to walking an amount that's closer to my previous level of activity, some days as much as two hours. I think it's really helping.

It felt really hard to move from being a very healthy and active person, to suddenly someone who only threw up and slept. It is such a relief to get that healthy feeling back, and I trust you'll get it back soon, too. Really, the first trimester doesn't last forever.

myryah said...

I'm glad you're starting to feel better! I second what Lyn had to say, in the first tri it's hard to get up the energy to do much of anything, with all the nausea and fatigue -- that can really take a toll physically AND emotionally. I'm 22 weeks along now and just starting to get back into exercise (though I should have resumed more than a month ago... the hardest part is starting again) -- yoga and walking mostly, starting to climb some stairs now too. It feels great! Just hang in there, the second trimester is the best trimester.

andrea said...

wow, it is so surreal after taking a break from reading this blog, to read the current topic!! i know what happened, neil tucked this blog under "andrea's favorites" and well, out of sight out of mind. I guess i never check that.
Anyway, what an exciting adventure you are on. i have some books i'd love to give you...i will call when i'm down next.
chew gum? crackers? prenatal yoga for relaxation!! love to you three. what a blasted f'en cool new year!

starrhillgirl said...

I can't speak to how you're feeling, but I sure am glad to hear from you.
xo

Kirsten said...

I am so happy for you "N" :) You will get back to your normal self, I am sure. You and KK are doing a beautiful thing. Good luck.

mrs. bluemont said...

Been thinking of you and hoping things are getting easier. Much love and warmer weather to you. Kudos on walking and resolving to take care of yourself. xo