coping

i know it has been a long time...

i've been down and out. learning to cope with this critter living in me, has been quite a ride so far. as kk so eloquently put it, i've been feeling downright crappy. i lost about eight pounds, but i am gaining it back. i straight up lost my appetite for two whole weeks. for one week, i shoved bits of food in my mouth, but not enough food so i felt like even worse crap. i was glued to the couch and depressed--depression to the point of no shower for almost one solid week.

i went from being super active to no action...at all. now i am walking at least 40 minutes a day which helps immensely. and i plan on visiting the bicycle at the gym as soon as i am eating more veg and protein again.

anyhow, this ride is something. it is miraculous that the sperm took after one time. i feel blessed and scared and thrilled and more scared and excited and scared.

i also feel loved. i feel loved by my bio-family and my chosen family and neighbors and old friends and new friends. i am so thankful for this abounding love. i am so thankful that k and i get to bring a wee one onto this life surrounded with good and strong and caring and loving people.

i have my first phone interview with the clinic next week and my first appointment with the midwife is on february 6--one more month of waiting. it seems like forever, but i know it is not.

that's it for now.

happy,happy new year!