um...

um, i spoke way too soon about thinking it was all almost over. yesterday what came out of me was like a horror show and the pain for a few hours was insane.

at 1:30 i started having pretty steady regular cramps. then i had a healing session/massage with a great therapist. i had cramps all through it but handle them okay. then k and i went and had sandwiches and ice cream. i ate it all through some rough cramping. when we got home. around 5:20 i stood up and a gush of blood dropped between my legs. i ran up to the bathroom and passed the first of about nine clots in total. they were large clots like lemons and long fingers. i documented many of them but won't gross you out.

All through the passage of the first six clots, i was in excrutiating pain. i thought my uterus my come sliding out into the toilet.

i called the midwife on call, cause i was bleeding a lot, she told me to get off the toilet because you cannot tell how much blood is really coming out and if i was filling more than a pad an hour i should go to the er. well i filled up a few pads pretty quickly, but they were the thin overnites, so who knows...

i also called my midwife friend and she told me to take the cohoshs (blue one half hour black the next half hour for four hours). i did so and the bleeding seemed to lessen. i let out some more liquid and clots around midnight and then hit the bed. through the nite i did not bleed very much.

and now i am here writing hoping the bleeding stays less throughout the day.
it is the 7 year anniversary of k's mama's passing so she is going to be with her dad and brother and my mama and dad are coming to hang out with me just in case i start to bleed too much.

i have to say all of the bleeding freaked the utter hell out of me. i got panicky and scared and thought i might die. keep in mind i have very light periods--light bleeding for two to three days tops. and passing semi-large pieces of tissue is weird.

here's to hoping it is almost really, really done.