Urging her to pee on the stick

Yesterday, while I worked in the garden, K waited for the second line to appear on that strange plastic pregnancy stick in the bathroom upstairs. I kept shouting up, “Did it turn yet?” She kept shouting down, “No.”

I’m the one that was persistent in the asking—the asking her to pee on the stick before she even missed a period.

I guess I’m anxious. Not a bad kind of anxious, but a I want to know now cause if the period comes spotting out onto K’s underwear I will most likely not be there with her when it happens anxious. And I want to be there for her when the first disappointment surfaces, or maybe the better word for it is crashes out onto her panties.

When we first started I was more realistic about all of this. I know many people wait for years on end to finally get the sugar patch blooming in their uteri. But then the news came that our don don is heading straight out of town—he’s moving July 1. So now we have one more serious try time and then we will have to do it on the fly.

K is having a hard time determining her ovulation, so if this period does come then we will try everyday after it ends for ten days—injecting sperm like mad women. And then we will start the waiting all over again. Waiting to see if it takes or not.

The stick showed a negative, but it was done four days before her period is supposed to start so that means that the stick is only 54% accurate. Now the anxiousness is heavier than before, but like I said it is not a bad anxious; I’m still hanging onto giddy patience. Soon this all might be as common as taking a morning shit. But for now I will treasure the anxiety and patience and look forward to whatever comes next--a period, a sugar patch, a big dose of sperm--all of it is a gift.